I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
