I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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