There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
