Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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