Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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