he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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