I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
