he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My dick has a subreddit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
