Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
