im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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