Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
