Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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