you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
