Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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