i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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