i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize