**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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