I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
