you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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