Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
