weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I would fuck him just for his dog
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize