I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
