i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
