I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
