Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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