Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am available for nakedness
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
