the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
