We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
