Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
