Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
