honey bunches of taint.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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