I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
