There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
