If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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