I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
