YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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