I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
