These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
