she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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