either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
