Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
As shirtless as possible
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Watching her eat just hurts me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
