like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
NoShamevember. You game?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
