Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
