Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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