Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize