Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
