I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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