it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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