the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
