Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
