stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
