I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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