i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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