Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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