all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize