it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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