my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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