you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
