My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
