do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The uberlube is also flammable
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize