I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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