Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
