he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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