so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
