Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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