Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
