make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My dick has a subreddit
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
