um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
