Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dicks are not precious.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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