the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
