You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize