it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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