Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize