someone owes me an orgasm
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i've created a new STD.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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