i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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