Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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