Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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