dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
