hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
