My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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