trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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