I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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