I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
