if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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