Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
