i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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